"What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance." -Jane Austen

Finally a blog! I intend to talk more specifically about the different aspects of life over here, but for the sake of getting SOMETHING out there, the following is an adaptation from an email I sent to immediate family:

I apologize that the communication has been pretty poor but I've been busy doing turnover with the guy I replaced. My internet access is limited anyway since I have no internet in my room and have to sign up and wait for a computer at the lab. Then you get 30 minutes max. Hopefully I can nail down a schedule that will get me on to this crazy thing they call the "world wide web" more often.

I have plenty of computer time today because I'm not at my "home" station but I'm in the capital city of Baghdad. Work required me to come here for a couple of days. I was supposed to go back last night but was not able to get transportation. What that means is that I'm here waiting to try again tonight, but in the meantime I don't really have anything else to do. Not bad for a birthday, huh? So I'm taking advantage of the computer time here in Baghdad.

What can I say about Iraq? There is a huge difference between Balad (where I will be staying) and Baghdad. Balad is a former Iraqi air base and it really is in the desert per se. It's completely flat and there is NO vegetation. My world there consists of concrete, gravel, and dust. It feels very industrial. Baghdad, on the other hand, was built on the banks of the Tigris river, so there is color here (some green anyway) and vegetation, including palm trees. The other difference is that in Balad we are mostly living in trailers or small buildings that WE built there. Here in Baghdad we live and work in the former dictator's houses and palaces. We basically moved in and set up shop.

On that note, Baghdad feels a little weird, and I'm not sure how to explain it. At the moment I'm sitting in a big room in what once was a palace. There is a chandelier hanging from the ceiling and there is an amazing marble-tiled floor, but the beauty of this place is gone. These places are not maintained. The walls are dingy, there is dust and dirt everywhere. The walls are cracked now and the rigged electrical work that we have done since arriving just hangs freely from the walls. The windows and doors to the terraces overlooking the city (I'm on the third floor) are sealed shut, blocked by huge tarps or pieces of plastic to keep the sun out. And yet the curtains still hang to the side. Some of the original furniture is still here too, like the huge table the computers sit on. I'm sure it was a gorgeous table once upon a time, very ornate, but now it's dingy, scratched, and beat up. In that sense this very much feels like "occupation", not as if we are here for a short stay. I'm not taking any political stance by saying that, only that it saddens me a little that such a grand place once upon a time is now in this state. The grounds outside, I'm told, were once lush and green all around this hill that it sits on. But since that greenery took lots of irrigation and work, it has since mostly died, including the trees. So now this once beautiful palace sits on top of a burnt out brown hill, with port-a-johns lined up outside and concrete barriers all around it. At some point, and it may not be until I return, based on my internet access, I will post some pictures so that you can see what I'm talking about.

Life where I will be staying (Balad) is pretty good, so don't feel too sorry for me. I have my own room, and although it's not fancy, it is my own room. Ed and Brad, you remember my room in Bosnia. It's similar to that. I can eat 24 hours a day and the food is pretty good (I'm not sure this is a good thing!). The gym facilities, although I had heard were totally awesome and top-of-the-line, are not quite soooo great, but still good enough for me. They do my laundry for me there; I just turn in the bag and it comes back two days later clean and folded! My weapons skills will be top-notch when I leave; I can shoot my M4 and M9 at the range any time that I want to. They have all the ammo, I just show up and load. And everything that I just mentioned is a five minute walk or less from everything else. There is a chapel, too, and I went to church last Sunday. I'm hoping to plug into a bible study while I'm over here.

Joint Base Balad (JBB) is huge, but all of the stuff I mentioned is on the portion of the base that I live, and it's separated from the other stuff on the base. My team has our own vehicle, so within 10 or 15 minutes I also have access to an Olympic-size outdoor pool, a movie theatre, the PX, barber shop, tailor, Pizza Hut, Green Beans Coffee, Taco Bell, Burger King, etc. Do you feel sorry for me now?? haha. Considering that we just had Memorial Day weekend, I can't help but almost feel guilty for "fighting a war" in this kind of situation. I think about those that I know like Uncle Ken and Uncle Jim that have served in places like Vietnam. I realize it was a different era then, but compared to the environment that they fought in, this probably doesn't even crack the "war" threshold. Watching "Band of Brothers" and documentaries about WWII... I am left in awe and full of gratitude for the service of the men and women who went before me to defend freedom and democracy around the world. I am very honored to be an inheritor of the legacy that they have left for us.

We occasionally receive indirect fire from improvised mortars. They are not sustained attacks, more like a random launch here and there, and they very rarely hit near anything of importance. I don't mean to minimize any danger, but I have conceded in my heart to the fact that the likelihood of me being injured or dying from a random mortar attack is about equal to that of me dying in a car accident at home. I just pray for safety for everyone here and realize that it's out of my hands. There's nothing that I can do personally to minimize the threat.

The hardest thing to deal with then, is the heat. It's been over 100 degrees every day I've been in Iraq, and of course, it will only get worse throughout the summer. We've already hit 113 on one of the days. You can imagine that even a three-minute walk outside in my uniform (boots, desert camouflage pants and jacket; the sleeves MUST be rolled down) turns into a massive sweat fest. I drink gallons of water each day and a bunch of Gatorade too. If you haven't drunk any fluid in about 30 minutes, your body starts to feel it. Thankfully, all the buildings are air-conditioned, including my living trailer, work building, gym, dining facility, etc. One of the reasons I haven't had much of a desire to eat Pizza Hut, Burger King, etc., is because they are not buildings like you would think of in the States. They are basically trailers with an order window and a pickup window, kind of like Dairy Queen. Then they have a picnic table area, like a picnic pavilion, to sit and eat. Food, no matter how good it may be, is just not that appealing to me if you have to sit in 105-degree heat to eat it! So I stick with the chow hall. I imagine I'll reach a point where I'm craving that taste for Americana, but it will be awhile yet.

Once I get settled back in Balad, I'll start working my regular 12-hour shift. I work with a lot of great people, good at what they do, and dedicated to getting things done, even if it's in the heat of Iraq so far away from family. One of the things that I've always liked about the military is that when you are overseas, for the most part everyone treats each other as extended family. We all stay pretty tight over here, and I imagine that I'll make some friends that I will have for years to come.

Although the group here has a "family" feel to it, I terribly miss my REAL family: my dear wife and my two kiddos, Duke and Koshi. Being away helps me to appreciate what I have waiting for me back at home. I miss you baby and I've never looked forward to Thanksgiving as much as I am this year!

Hope this finds you well.

Marc

"I've been a long time leaving but I'm going to be a long time gone." - Willie Nelson

I have less than 24 hours until my departure now. The past couple of days has been a cornucopia of emotions: worry, depression, confidence, anxiety, excitement, regret, panic, apathy, you name it!

Good sleep is always hard to come by for me as d-day draws near (a capital D-day there didn't seem appropriate considering the historical use of the term). I spend the usual hours in bed, but my dreams consist of every imaginable worst-case scenario, or I wake up and start looking for something around the room (who knows what) until I realize that it's all part of my dream and go back to bed. They are fitful nights to be sure.

I mentioned in my last blog that sometimes waiting is the worst part. Now I know that's what people say only until it's time to actually go, because then THAT seems worse! I've deployed enough over the years to know when all the emotion will finally overwhelm me: wheels up on the airplane. When those jet engines push me back in the seat and the nose goes up, that's when my last line of defense seems to give out, and inevitably, I cry. I couldn't begin to describe what I'm crying about; it's a culmination of feelings, in this case, over the past four months.

Tomorrow will not be fun. Sad goodbyes, last-minute packing, "I forgot about..." realizations, etc. But none of it will keep the plane from leaving with me on it.

Not sure when I'll get settled at the next destination. I will do my best to let you know as soon as I can. Thanks for your prayers and do me a favor please: give Jennifer a call in the next few days to see how she's doing. Thanks!

Counting Down

I know I'm getting close to leaving because I haven't slept well the past couple of nights and probably won't until I'm settled in Iraq.

It's not that I have a lot to do - I'm pretty much ready to go. I've got a few training evolutions to go to this week, but I don't have a load of "must do's" hanging over my head.

So why the anxiety? I think it's primarily fear of the unknown. I've had minimal contact with the person I'm replacing (not my choice) so I'm walking into a situation that I don't know a lot about. Not a big deal... I know I'll roll with it, but not knowing is the hardest part.

The latest news report says that the Iraqis still want U.S. combat forces out of their cities (urban areas) by the end of June (note 1). My gut keeps asking the question, "Why am I headed over there now?". But I know there is still work to be done.

My worries about getting hurt over there are minimal. The fear I have is that someone who is supposedly on our side will turn on us and I'll get shot feeding my face in the chow hall or running on the treadmill in the gym (note 2).

T minus six days.

Notes:
(1) http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090505/ap_on_re_mi_ea/ml_iraq_180
(2) http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/la-fg-iraq-shooting3-2009may03,0,3004508.story?track=rss